Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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