he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
