she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
