That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
