ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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