you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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