I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
honey bunches of taint.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
