I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
