I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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