I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
