How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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