it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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