When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
