you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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