3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
