..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am mentally ready for anal.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
