Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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