is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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