??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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