I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
