I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
