Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How naked do you want me to be?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
