I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
