Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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