Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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