So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
