But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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