By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
