It's Friday. Sex?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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