Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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