i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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