i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
