I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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