If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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