Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
