I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
