better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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