I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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