It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
