did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
