I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
