She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
