I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
