ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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