he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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