end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just cropdusted the office
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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