If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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