you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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