Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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