I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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