You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
