the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
