Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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