um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
