i barfeds in our rink
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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