Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Boobs are out for the taking
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
