So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
