Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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