therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize