They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
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I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
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Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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