Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
